The Stache

Shannon had a dream last night (which is always a good thing).

I don't know all the details, but in it--get this--my mustache had super-powers!!  Her memory is a little foggy on everything my facial adornment was able to do, but she assures me I was definitely picking locks with it!  Yusss.

This is perfect timing.  Our poll on who has the better handlebar mustache is a dead heat (9-9 at the time of writing) with only 5 days left to vote.  But this discovery is bound to push me over the top.  My mustache has super-powers!

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In other mustache news

• After nearly two months of mustachery, on Saturday night, 'lil Stachey received his first unequivocal compliment from a female, who was both sober and sane thankyouverymuch. Thanks Danae!
  

• Compliments from males come daily.  Also on Saturday night, in a bar, the dude sitting at the table next to me leans over and says, "I apologize in advance if you catch me staring at your mustache.  That is truly a thing of magnificence."  I'm not telling you all this to toot my own horn (believe me, the sleaziness of it is not lost on me) but I can't go out without being bombarded with comments like this from dudes and looks of minor disgust from the ladies.
  

What is it about a mustache that so polarizes men and women?

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Some names I have been called 

Ron Burgundy

Jeff Foxworthy (by middle school boys on the school bus)

Or my favorite: A little girl, maybe 6 years old, steps onto my school bus, looks at me, pauses, and says, "You look like a thief."  Ha!

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Some things to ponder in the comments

What would my super hero name be? I suggested The 'Stache in the title.  But I also like Mustache Man and the more discreet Hairy Locksmith. Should the mustache itself have a name too?? Who's my nemesis?

You can also tell me if you're completely sick of me talking about my facial hair.  I can't help it.  Beards and their cousins are way too fun.  Maybe I should start a separate blog.

Who has a better handlebar mustache?

Vote in the poll and discuss the finer points of pogonology in the comments.

Pogonology

The study of beards. I think my husband has decided to add this to his list of minors.

Brian came home today with a newly styled face and mustache wax!

He kind of looks like this:

Except... His mustache is much bushier, more like a walrus, reminding me of President Cleveland. Also, his beard portion comes to a point on either side and is disconnected from the mustache.

Actual pictures of the shaving phases to come.

The Debeardification Process

When I met Brian, in May of 1999, he looked like this except with longer hair:

(This was taken in April of 2000 at an SPU event before we were dating)

The first year or so that I knew Brian the goatee came and went. Here are some examples of what I fell in love with. :) 

When we started dating, the goatee became permanent but varied in length as did his hair. Until the winter of 2007 when he decided to grow a beard.  That beard was pretty normal and didn't last too long. This winter the beard reappeared and he decided to grow it out. This is what it ended up looking like:

Reluctantly, he decided to shave it, planning for weeks how to make the most of the debeardification process. Thanks to our friend Josh we have awesome documentation. Enjoy!

Friendly Mutton Chops with Chin Puff and a little extra Flare

The Winnfield with Petit Goatee

Fu Manchu

Fu Manchu with girl's face??!

Wanda

Ol' Lopsided Pouty

Short Fu Manchu

Copstache Standard

Anyone seen my donkey?

Charlie Chaplin

Fourteen Again

For those of you that were excited to see Brian clean shaven after almost 8 years, don't be surprised if the beard reappears. The stubble is already back. This process was way too fun for him not to do it again. 

Nana's time with her special little someone

I know you've all been dying to hear about my beard.  "Enough with all this baby talk," you say, "give me more beard!  Maggie's cute and all but, please, the real reason anyone comes to your blog is obviously the beard."

So, with a little further ado, I present for your hairy enjoyment, some pictures of Nana and her favorite grand-beard.  You might remember her hilarious comments a while back?  Here's a sampling of those heartfelt sentiments:

I'm so proud of the furry mass that you've created Brian. The next time I'm up I would like to take many photos so that I can start a small photo album to show all my friends. I bragged about you yesterday in the grocery store. The checker didn't believe me when I told him what you have been able to produce in such a short amount of time. He and several other shoppers who overheard my bragging would like to see pictures of the thick, full, reddish brown masterpeice that has come out of your face.

I was so touched I told her she could take little beardy to the zoo. Unfortunately the battery died while they were looking at the baboons, so all we have are these darling photos from before they left:

Hilarity in Baby Beard Land

In case you've stopped by and can't handle the extreme sentimentality below, check out Nana G's comment on my Beards Over Babies post. Funny, funny lady.

Beards Over Babies

Never did I think dinosaurs would offer such cutting insights into my subconscious motivation for growing a beard.

Check out more prehistoric hilarity at the Qwantz page

Haircuts by Children

I posted this as my profile picture on facebook recently and a lot of people have been asking if there is a story behind the blue beard.

Here it is:

Two Sundays ago I went up to the Push International Performing Arts Festival in Vancouver and attended a performance/event called Haircuts by Children.

The title really does explain it. A handful of 10 year olds, trained by local professional hair stylists over the span of a week, give free haircuts to anyone brave enough (or foolish enough?) to risk their vanity and trust an unknown child with scissors.

I had to do it! Not only did it sound like a blast, I LOVE the concept. It gently raises so many questions about us as individuals and about our social boundaries and power structures. I love the generosity of it. Can you remember a time in your young life when an adult trusted you with something important? Do you remember how empowering that was?

Before I went, I read everything I could get my hands on about the performance, its creator Darren O'Donnell, and his Toronto-based experimental theater company Mammalian Diving Reflex. So, I thought I knew what to expect when I arrived. O'Donnell had written:

I'd expected the scene to be relatively anarchic, with hair flying all over the place, but, in reality, with kids taking the responsibility so seriously, the mood becomes almost somber.

That's definitely not what I experienced when I walked in to the little Vancouver salon. The mood was anything but somber; it was positively jubilant. The back wall was lined with spectators giggling at their friends' new 'dos and cheering loudly any time a cut was finished. Many of the participants' hair looked jubilant too. Or at least a little more colorful.

I really don't care what my hair looks like. Shy of shaving genitalia into my mop, I don't think there's any haircut that would really embarrass me (at least short term). I also don't usually get stage fright, but I started getting a little nervous as I entered.

When I found Hazel--one of the organizers whom I had previously met only in my inbox--she ushered me down to the third chair where I waited for Daisy and Chance to finish up with their current victim--er, client.

Chance finished rubbing violet coloring into the man's newly acquired bald spots and then invited me to sit.

I gulped and did as I was told.

"So what can we do for you today?"

I told them they could do whatever they wanted with my hair, which I had been growing specially for the occasion, but I wanted to keep the beard.

"We'll turn it blue then!"

The two of them ended up dividing my head exactly in half, with Daisy timidly but conscientiously buzzing the left side. Chance, however, for all his gusto, seemed a little too eager to get to the beard coloration and did a slightly less ideal job shearing the right.

Now, in the mornings, since I haven't rectified the situation yet, I wake up with localized bed head. I look something like a mangy, lopsided macaroni penguin.

Aside from a few missed spots, they did fine. I'm not sure why though, after being given 100% artistic license with my hair, they opted to merely buzz it. There were a lot of crazier cuts going on, including "soccer ball head" and what I will affectionately refer to as "sporadic technicolor rat tails."

Not all of them were bizarre though. I hung around afterward and watched several women get straight up trims or "normal" haircuts (that turned out really well!). I think that's where the somberness O'Donnell mentioned comes in. Any time an adult requested something very specific and un-flamboyant the kids got really focused and took their job seriously.

Not too seriously though. Almost without exception, they couldn't resist adding at least a little color.

8 Albums From 2007 That I'll Still Be Listening To In 2009

This time of year every literate chump with access to the internet posts a Best Of... list. It's overdone but I love it. I discover a lot of great films, music and miscellany from critics and enthusiasts who do a wonderful job of enumerating worthwhile cultural offerings.

I should just leave it to them, but since I've got you here I just can't resist giving MY opinion and pretending you care.

So, without further ado, 8 albums from this year that I can confidently predict I will still be listening to in a couple years:


Beirut - The Flying Club Cup

On his second full length, Zach Condon, has added a full band and a French twist to his previous Balkan appropriations. The result is a glorious but accessible melange that, despite its exotic influences, won't be banished to the obscurity of the World music rack.


The National - Boxer

Growing up in North America I've grown weary of the suffocating ubiquity of guitars-bass-drums-male singer. So The National had a strong prejudice to overcome, but overcome they did. It's not my favorite disc of the year but it's definitely the one I'd recommend to the most people.


Andrew Bird - Armchair Apocrypha

Pop? Jazz? Folk? Bird writes smart lyrics and vaguely familiar, but un-pigeonhole-able music. Occasionally, the literate and witty prose lends the music a little too much emotional detachment but, quibbles aside, I'm never disappointed when I give this album a spin.


The Twilight Sad - Fourteen Autumns & Fifteen Winters

With a squall of guitars thicker than the lead singer's Scottish accent, it's a wonder The Twilight Sad are able to retain so much nuance, wistfulness and even tenderness. Proof that loud music can have a heart.


Eddie Vedder - Into the Wild Soundtrack

I'm not a huge fan of Pearl Jam but I'm a sucker for Vedder's voice, which works perfectly here in these mostly quiet, acoustic numbers accompanied by mandolin, banjo, or acoustic guitar. This solo effort is, in my opinion, Vedder's best work. It worked really well with the movie (which is also great, by the way) but it also stands alone very nicely.


Amiina - Kurr

These ladies from Iceland play saws and other unusual instruments to weave the kind of spacious, ethereal songs that have come to define the Icelandic aural soundscape. But, while the similarities are definitely there, this is not the same otherworld of their compatriots and tour mates Sigur Ros. Rather than conjuring images of weightless astral ballets, these songs are more like lullabies from the alien homeland of a mother's womb.


Arcade Fire - Neon Bible

This collective emerged out of Montreal a few years ago to rescue indie rock from cynical irony and mandatory naval gazing. They take on big issues with a big sound and the gusto of U2 or Bruce Springsteen (though they don't sound like either of those). This is their second disc and it's almost as good as the first. If you like rock and you haven't heard, check them out!


Radiohead - In Rainbows

This album deserves mention not only for the band's cavalier and visionary marketing of it but also because it's just a really good album. I like Radiohead, but the excessive hype and their musical experimentalism usual keep them from heavy rotation in my CD player. So, since they gave me the choice, I only paid a couple bucks for In Rainbows. I feel a little guilty now though because I think I've already listened to this one more than any other Radiohead album.