Public Weight Problem

I start class by sitting on my stool in front, with as serious a face as I can muster, and tell them we need to talk. 

They get very quiet.   

I explain that another teacher told me that her students confided that my students were talking about me behind my back. 

Some shrink down in their seats, others trade knowing looks with their friends. 

Yesterday, a fellow math teacher, who is also pregnant, asked me if I had told my class yet if I was pregnant. I hadn't. 

For whatever reason I haven't found a good time to bring it up this time around, and I haven't thought it especially pertinent since they won't be getting a sub (because I'm due in the summer).

My colleague's students told her that my students were freaking out; they don't know what to do, because obviously I am pregnant, but they're scared to ask.

So I decide to have some fun...

I tell them that I had heard they were talking about how I was getting fat and they were worried about me. 

More squirming in their seats.

I tell them that I wish they had come to me. Trying to keep my composure--my face begins to redden--I share that I am gaining weight and seeing a doctor about it. 

Pause.

(I can't torture them any longer) 

“Yes, I am pregnant!”

Huge collective sigh of relief. 

Apparently, they had been discussing it after every class period, analyzing my clothing to determine if it was maternity or not. These guys are much more polite than my previous classes!